The erroneous headline was what caught my eye: “Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack Announces 2008 Presidential Bid.” Certainly there was a mistake. The article DID mention that Vilsack, the first candidate to announce, is currently running FOURTH in the polls of his home state of Iowa. It didn’t mention that over the next few months, Vilsack’s travels and grandeur will costs Iowa’s taxpayers millions of dollars (bad), and will severely limit the Governor’s ability to govern (your call).
The article also does mention that Vilsack is running on a campaign of energy independence (good) via alternative energy sources (hysterical). “”Energy security will revitalize rural America, re-establish our moral leadership on global warming and climate security, and eliminate our addiction to foreign oil,” said Vilsack, a prominent proponent of ethanol, biodiesel and wind power,” but not of common sense. Wind power? Seriously. Not only is it completely inefficient, do you have any idea how many birds get thwacked by those giant turbines? Neither do I, but it’s a lot (also hysterical – the environmentalists just can’t win).
The main thing the article neglected to do, though, was correct the headline: “Outgoing Democrat, Purple-State Gov. Tom Vilsack Announces Long-Shot 2008 Vice-Presidential Bid.” There you go. All you need to know.
The blog about Chuck-Schmuck Hagel’s (D-NE) Veep run will be coming shortly.
Archive for November, 2006
Vilsack-Schmilsack
Thursday, November 30th, 2006Internet Exploder version 7
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006I just installed Internet Explorer, version 7, also known as IE7, on my computer. I did this because Windows told me to, and, in spite of years of evidence to the contrary, I tend to believe that one should do as one’s operating system suggests (especially if one’s operating system is Windows XP Pro). Since my operating system, anticipating my desire to get the latest technology, had already downloaded the file for me, it was an easy process. Click “OK” a couple of times, “Accept” once, and I’m good to go. Right?
Right. I had no problems with the install. This is not a horror story. It was flawless. And, really, since I don’t actually USE Internet Explorer (ahem), the changes don’t really affect me. It’s nice to see that Microsoft has integrated tabbed browsing, about 2 years too late. Presumably this signals the end of the gosh-awful “group similar items” feature in the taskbar. The anti-phishing filter also seems like a good idea, though I will never actually get the chance to see it in action.
The reason for this blog, though, is something called ClearType for HTML, which Microsoft strongly recommended that I turn on in order to make text look way betterer. I turned it on, and immediately all the text in all of my web-browsers, email, and documents turned to bolded mush. What, what, what? Then I remembered – I had been fooled by this before.
ClearType is designed to remove aliasing (if you don’t know what that means, don’t worry) from text on LCD, or “flat-panel,” monitors. If you have a laptop or a flat-panel monitor, you should turn this on. Microsoft is right – things look much better. What they DON’T tell you is that if you have a CRT, or “big ugly box,” monitor, ClearType will make things look roughly like “poop.” They also don’t tell you how to de-turd your computer.
So, for the zero of you reading this blog that may still have a big ol’ CRT monitor, here is how:
- Open IE7
- Open the “Tools” (on the far right)
- Choose “Internet Options” from the drop-down menu
- Select the “Advanced” tab
- Scroll down to the “Multimedia” category
- Uncheck the box that says “Always use ClearType for HTML”
- Click “OK”
- Close and restart IE, and all programs where the text looks funny
Incidentally, if you have a LCD monitor, you can follow these steps to make sure that ClearType is turned on, making this NERDblog 2-for-1 helpful. I believe that ClearType is available on older versions of Explorer as well, so even if you haven’t updated, you can still turn it on (or off).
Old Farts Sing Coldplay
Tuesday, November 28th, 2006Since I am on a roll with posting sweet videos, let’s give this one a try: the group is called Young@Heart. This video will make you a) laugh, b) cry, c) cringe, or d) all of the above.
Thoughts? My favorite part is the obnoxious chorus effect on the old guys vocals. And also the very, um, enthuasiastic director.
Someday I will start posting real content again. Honest.
DragonForce!
Monday, November 20th, 2006Justin Meyer is the one responsible for introducing me to DragonForce, a band so awesomely absurd that they seem like a mock-u-mentary of Spinal Tap. They appear to be gaining wider recognition for their ridiculousness, so I think it’s time to share. Trust me, it’s worth all 5 minutes of your time.
That’s what a production budget of $5 and ridiculous shredding will get you. How can something so wrong be oh, so right?
Turd Fergie-son
Thursday, November 16th, 2006I have been waiting a couple of days to post this one because I wanted to be comfortable with the site that I was linking, and for some reason pictures of Paris Hilton, even fully clothed, just seem really wrong.
Anyway, Fergie, famous for being in The Black Eyed Peas as well as her Gwen-ripped “London Bridge,” has this marvelous line in Vibe magazine (courtesy of The Chicago Sun-Times):
I may not have the type of voice you like, but I can sing. You can’t take that away from me, cause singing is a gift from God, and when people say I can’t sing, it’s kind of like insulting God.
I love it when hip-hop stars get all theological. Ferg, what if I’m just implying that God had a sense of humor when he created you knowing that you would become famous? Huh? What about that one? Are you insulting God’s cleverness?
Actually the best part about this line is that it references, almost verbatim, Nick Page’s “And Now Let’s Move Into a Time of Nonsense,” a book about how terribly written worship songs are failing the church. Page begins every chapter with a letter from a fictional worship leader, sharing his new (and dreadful) song, and closing with a, um, humble request for suggestions:
Anyway, here’s the one that the Lord gave to me this morning on the way to work.
God is doing new things,
All the time;
Shiny new wineskins
With shiny new wine.
A new anointing,
And new words to speak,
I really hope my wineskin
Will never spring a leak.Oh, heal our leaky wineskins,
Restore our dried out lakes;
We want to feel your Spirit,
When the waters break.…Any advice, criticism gratefully received, although you ought to be aware that I have been anointed so any criticism of me will, technically, be criticising God.
So basically Fergie, in complete and total seriousness, unintentionally echoed a spoof on pride from contemporary Christian literature. Priceless.
What, you don’t think this is funny? Well that’s too bad, because my humor is a gift from God.
A Little Less Conversation
Wednesday, November 15th, 2006From John Mayer’s blog (which is, amazingly, like his music – quite good):
(Oprah Winfrey is) easy to talk to. I don’t know what that’s like, being easy to talk to.
I bet if I were easy to talk to people would never shut up. I think I’ll stick to being akward (sic) and off-putting.
Oh. Well maybe it’s a guitar-player thing, or a musician thing.
That’s a relief.
They Forgot “Peavey”
Monday, November 13th, 2006Blender magazine has a new list out: The 50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music (number 22 – Lists That Reduce Rock History to a Series of Glib Soundbites). I found it fairly entertaining, and good for a laugh or five if you’re a huge music nerd like I am.
A few of the highlights:
42. Scott Stapp
Although he’s rehabilitated his image in recent years by becoming an incorrigible drunk and trying to beat up 311, there’s no getting around the music. The fourth-generation grunge he’s peddled solo and with Creed might be harmless if it weren’t swathed in quasi-religious pomposity and delivered with an arrogance that — in light of his musical, er, gifts — feels downright delusional…25. Tribute Albums
Don’t die. If you do, a dozen artists who ripped off all your ideas while you were alive (and one of whom will almost certainly be Sheryl Crow) will record overly reverent, roundly uninspired versions of your songs for a tribute album. This album will be ignored and/or quickly forgotten, or will spur a revival in your music that you won’t be around to enjoy and profit from…6. Madonna’s British Accent
A few pf things that I think they forgot:
ProTools
Having any sort of musical ability at all is no longer necessary to make a perfect album – all you need is a Mac. This has raised expectations for live music to the point where most acts are forced to either a) tour with a 40-piece backing orchestra, b) lip-synch, c) suck, or d) all of the above (see: Ashlee Simpson).
All the soul is gone from music. Sometimes it’s OK for a singer to miss notes. Sometimes a drum fill is better off if it is rushed a bit. Sometimes the fact that everyone can now afford to make their own CD in a living room and force it on the rest of the world is not a good thing.Genre Mashups
Rap-rock gets a pass on this since, to a degree, it was basically became popular at the same time that rap did (see: Beastie Boys). The degree of pass ends with Limp Bizkit. Everyone else can please stop now.
Same goes for Country-Rock, Country-Pop, Country-Rap, and Van Halen-Bluegrass. If you can’t do one thing particularly well, odds are good that doing two things simultaneously isn’t going to work out so great either.
Sub-point: Turntables Becoming a Viable Instrument in a Rock Band
The turntable is not a musical instrument, it is an appliance. Seriously, where do we go from here? What’s next, some guy on stage playing the deep-freeze? Wait… what?
Oh forget it. I quit.
Political Football and Nature’s Explosions
Saturday, November 11th, 2006Well, the Democrats are in charge of everything except the White House, and maybe the Supreme Court. Depending on what each party does over the next two years, what happens with fundamentalist terrorists, and how the American people respond in 2008, this could go down in the history books as one of the greatest failures of Democracy of all time.
Do the American people realize that they just elected, by proxy, Nancy Pelosi as the Speaker of the House? Does ANYONE actually think that’s a good idea? Do you really think that a House and Senate led largely by Democrats who have spent the last 6 years committing character assassination on the President will be capable of working with that President to defend this country from people who want to kill themselves and take us along for the ride?
I am skeptical with a glimmer of hope. The left, now in power, could moderate itself. If they continue in the same vein and the right manages to decide that it does have a worldview, things swing back in 2008. Or we could all be screwed.
***
Either way, even though the recount didn’t happen, I think that this was one of the funniest blogs I’ve posted in a long time, and it got no comments. Did you all just not click on the video link?
On the other hand, this, while also hysterical, really was intended for the very few that I thought would understand the joke, and it is full of comments. My readers are really odd.
Go figure.
***
Iowa State plays Colorado today. It is the second to last game of Colorado coach Dan Hawkins’ first year, and the second to last game of ISU coach Dan McCarney’s last year. The Buffalos are 1-9 this year, the lone victory coming in the Big 12 conference. The Cyclones, 3-7, have no conference wins and are about 17 inches from being 0-10.
The game is not being televised because, well, it’s going to be awful. But I think that if it were on TV, forced viewing would be an excellent way to torture detainees at Gitmo.
I, of course, will be listening voluntarily. Until the men in white coats come for me.
***
Speaking of white coats and odd readers…
I was going to post a picture of the beautiful, snow covered trees in my backyard (it was 70 the day before it snowed – Iowa rocks). But I don’t have a digital camera, so instead I decided to take a picture out of my bedroom window with my webcam, because you wouldn’t be able to distinguish a darn thing, and I thought that would be funny. However, I don’t have the webcam software since I reinstalled Windows, and Creative doesn’t have it online anymore (which should be punishable by death – there is NO reason for that at all).
So instead I am just going to tell you about how pretty it was and link to this. Because I’ve built it up so well that I feel I owe my loyal readers something. And I always get results.
***
Awhile back I shared my newfound love for the band Explosions in the Sky. At the time I didn’t realize that they have a bunch of mp3s available for download on the Albums page of their website. Just click on an album and look for the ‘mp3′ link beside the songs on the window that pops up. Well worth the time if you enjoy music that is too good for radio.
Election Summary
Wednesday, November 8th, 2006What’s the best (and perhaps only good) part about yesterday’s election?
Watching the recount in Montana (.04% African-American) go something like this.
It’s Votin’ Time
Tuesday, November 7th, 2006It’s the most wonderful time of the year – after today, my television will be free from ridiculous political ads for at least 6 months. Then the 2008 Presidential campaign starts. (Actually, you could argue it started this year with Barak Obama’s “book tour,” but let’s not nitpick).
So, Pat, you might be asking, how should I vote? Well, let me tell you. If you live in Ames and are wondering about reliable judges, let me quote from a reliable source (who will remain anonymous unless he chooses otherwise):
On the Court of Appeals, vote yes for Anuradha Vaitheswaran
On the District Court Judge District 2B, vote yes for Joel Swanson, Carl Baker, and a definite yes for Dale Ruigh
Now for the fun stuff. The first time I voted, I looked at the ‘party line’ option and scoffed. How intellectually lazy! I am a deep thinker, a person who is politically active and who pays attention to the news. Why would I place a simple vote for a single party? Then I went through the ballot and selected each and every Republican candidate.
At first glimpse, it may seem intellectually lazy to be a single-party voter, but I disagree. I do research and am informed. I have spent the last decade or so of my life learning about the political process and parties, and forming my views. Because of this, I can make an informed decision to place a party-line vote, with no qualms. Under our current, two-party system, you don’t so much vote for a candidate as you do a platform – the candidate will do the will of the party almost all of the time (unless they are a nationally recognized tool (Chuck Hagel) that cares more about their own name in the headlines (John McCain) than they do about the American people). Leadership and committee membership is based on how many seats a party has. It’s not intellectually lazy to vote party-line – it’s freakin’ ridiculous not to.
Why Republican? It’s pretty simple. Over two years ago, I wrote an intro and four part blog series (that I never managed to conclude, unfortuately) about abortion. Rereading these, the logic still stands, and I still stand behind the posts. I highly recommend reading them, but since many won’t take the time, I’ll just post the knee-jerk controversial summary here: abortion is murder. As the Republican party opposes abortion, and the Democratic party does not. I hate to be a single-issue guy, but when that issue is killing innocent people, it kinda supercedes the rest.
Since I’ve already lost a few friends, I’ll just point out that Democrats have promised to roll back the Bush tax cuts, aka raise your taxes. And they want to leave Iraq, which, regardless of how you feel about the war, is a pretty much dumb idea. They also don’t believe that we’re in a war right now. These are all blanket statements, if they generate enough interest, we can argue about them in detail.
But until then, go vote. Go vote party-line Republican. You’ve read this, which means you’re probably more informed than most of the mental midgets that will be out miscasting ballots. Go do your civic duty.
Today, we vote. Tomorrow, we get peace and quiet on the airwaves.
Well, except for all the lawsuits and voter-fraud allegations. What’s the over-under for Jesse Jackson press conferences in the next two days? 42?