I was gone for 6 days. 153 new emails.
Something has got to give.
Archive for December, 2006
Mer.E-Christmas
Thursday, December 28th, 2006Hear the Angels’ Something
Monday, December 11th, 2006OK, I cannot BELIEVE that in my slew of Christmas videos, I forgot what may be the best ever.
There is nothing better than going home for the holidays, playing that for your family, and watching mom, who has always shot disapproving glances in the direction of the rest of the family for enjoying such humor (and once threatened – quasi-humourously, I think – to make my dad sleep in the garage for a month if he purchased the CD with the previous video for me and Megan), burst into laughter, inspite of herself.
Of course, now that I think of it, she might have liked this version better:
Death Metal Steve
Friday, December 8th, 2006The final “Christmas” “video” that I am “posting” is a favorite of mine. Well, maybe not the video as much as the song. Cheesy? Check. Overwraught? Check. Guitar histrionics? Check.
See why I love the Trans-Siberian Orchestra so much?
And Leave, Ye of Good Judgement
Wednesday, December 6th, 2006The following video may not be suitable for all ages. Matt has been debating about posting it for a few weeks, but I figured, heck with it. He is clearly more mature than I am. So, be forewarned, it includes a fully-clothed female “dancing” in a manner that some may consider inappropriate.
The video is less vulgar than your typical Super Bowl half-time show (I’m looking at you, Paul McCartney), and MTV would probably choose to add more obscenities, because it is WAY to clean to air as-is.
This video also demonstrates that Dee Snyder has no idea what the difference is between a verse and a chorus. It proves that no one in the band or at their record label went, “Hey, maybe six-and-a-half minutes is too long, after all,” even though it clearly was.
It shows that there was no one there with mad, Pat-Blair-like editing skills, because I would have cut this song down to 2.5 minutes with no sweat at all. Four verses of guitar solo? Yikes. It does prove, however, that you can still get mileage out of a simple solo from a song that was big 20 years ago.
Finally, this video proves that aging rock stars in drag are really, REALLY creepy.
Enjoy!
Bad Theology Alert
Tuesday, December 5th, 2006From foxnews.com:
Comedian Jackie Mason on Monday dropped a lawsuit in which he claimed the missionary group Jews for Jesus damaged him when it used his name and likeness in a pamphlet.
Mason appeared in federal court in Manhattan, where he accepted an apology from the group in return for dropping the lawsuit…
“There’s no such thing as a Jew for Jesus. It’s like saying a black man is for the KKK,” the 75-year-old Mason said. “You can’t be a table and a chair. You’re either a Jew or a gentile.”
I understand why Jackie would be upset that his likeness was used without his permission. Congratulations to both parties for handling this like adults instead of litigious jerks. I do think Jackie’s statement merits some analysis, though. For starters, wasn’t Jesus a Jew? Weren’t all of his initial followers? Just checking.
Part of the issue here is the common failure to distinguish between being ethnically Jewish and religiously Jewish – they are two completely different things. You are considered to be member of the Jewish race if your mother was Jewish (and therefore, her mother was Jewish, etc.). In that light, a Jewish Christian (or Jew for Jesus) is as reasonabe as an Irish Catholic, a German Jew, a Canadian Christian, a Mexican Buddhist, etc. The adjective refers to ethnic background, the noun is the religius belief.
In terms of religious beliefs, Mason is right – you can’t be a Jew for Jesus. It’s like being a Christian for Allah, or an Athiest for George W. Bush – it just doesn’t work that way. However, it is entirely possible for a gentile (meaning a non-Jew, ethnically) to convert to Judiasm – sort of like Madonna, except not really.
So, when it comes down to it, Mason was within his rights to sue Jews for Jesus, but wrong about pretty much everything else, including black men for the KKK. Hasn’t he ever heard of Clayton Bigsby?
Victory Through Attrition
Monday, December 4th, 2006An accurate transcription of a conversation that occured at the dinner table in the Blair household over Thanksgiving weekend:
(Chatter about the price-per-pound of Turkey Roast)
Dad: Speaking of 3.16…
Mom: What’s 3.16?
Aunt: Yeah, are we missing something here?
Dad & Megan: Pie! (Unison, in best Cartman voices)
Pat: Oh! Actually, pi is 3.14159…
Dad: I was accounting for the cool whip.
In the same spirit, I’d like to present the first in my not-quite-week-long series of Christmas videos. Hopefully this will help get you in a festive mood, in addition to really creeping you out.